Gang Bangs and Glory Holes

Gang Bangs and Glory Holes. All sounds a bit violent doesn't it? Can our fantasies ever be carried out safely?

In the 'real' world, most of our fantasies will never be carried out to fruition. Either for personal or practical reasons, fantasies remain just that, a daydream of escapism, something to masturbate to before we drop off to sleep or something to wile away a few minutes of boredom at work. Practical reasons for not fulfilling fantasies are obvious, for example, my other half will never live in a Roman Villa having mass orgies with Lucy Lawless, I will never happen upon a purple ten-tentacled-horny-octopus-monster thingy... we do the best we can with imagination and lubricant. However, personal reasons are a little more complicated.

Some MF couples would never have a threesome with another male, as jealousy or the realisation of another penis might appear too serious. Living out a FMF/FFM threesome fantasy may appear less threatening to a relationship or as a 'softer' sex option. However, one partner may feel uncomfortable with introducing the idea of a MFM threesome, as it may reveal hidden desires within their own sexuality or unaddressed fantasies the other partner may have dismissed as ridiculous or disgusting previously. The MFM fantasy remains just that to them, a fantasy unfulfilled.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with having unfulfilled fantasies. Fantasies that involve physical or emotional abuse or violence are best left as just that - a dirty secret that helps you get your rocks off from time to time. Sexual plays should always be pleasurable and consenting for all parties involved. Fetishists involved in serious BDSM try to inform people living more 'vanilla' lifestyles how trust and consent are major factors in everything they do, something that is often misunderstood about that particular lifestyle. (Thanks to ill-informed films like 50 Shades making it more difficult to explain to people - it's not about emotional abuse). Somthing that might appear to be violent to an onlooker would not be a violent act between a loving Dom and fully-supported Sub.

But what about some extreme fantasies that could be carried out? Should we just because we can?

Anyone looking for a quick definition for what a 'gang bang' is would come across 'the successive rape/forced sexual intercourse of one person by a group of people'...and quite rightly 'nope' out of there. Rape is never about sexual pleasure or consent...so we will leave that definition to the bin. We don't want any of that. Ever. There is some dubious porn out there making the rounds showing depictions of group rape that I'm personally uncomfortable with when viewing. The adult actresses involved (I've not personally come across a male version) show no sexual pleasure at all on film (they might have the happy-smiling-talking ending after the money shot, but some porn producers concentrate far too much on the discomfort and humiliation of the single female for me to condone it.) Any form of rape is a violent crime, not a sexual pleasure.

But what about the other definition? 'Sexual intercourse involving several people who select and change partners.' Now that's the type of gang-bang I'm interested in. Make me smile while you use every orifice you possibly can. Let's have rough, horny, dirty, animal sex. Let's do some filthy team-building activities - have a cheeky high-five over my head while I'm being spit roasted. Let the pheromones fill the room, mingled with the scent of well-used pussy. I want to wake up sore in the morning. A swinger's gang bang should be fun, filthy and have at least five participants. The idea of a rough gang bang could be safely fulfilled if everyone sticks to the rules of consent and safe sex. The environment should be sexy, not scary. It should sound and look like something David Attenborough could narrate. It should be a happy, enjoyable, exhusting experience.

I've been lucky so far, my partner and I are experienced enough to be able to stop and walk away from encounters we're not 100% about. It may just be one person in a room of twelve that we may not be comfortable around, and nothing else would continue until we feel in the mood again with partners we prefer...same with glory holes - or anything else that could be counted as an 'extreme' sexual encounter. Living out extreme fantasies should always be carried out in a safe environment with consenting adults...a bit like extreme sports. You wouldn't go and climb up the Himalayas without an inexperienced guide you picked up in the pub and use dodgy equipment. You shouldn't dive head-first into an extreme fantasy without being prepared. It wouldn't be safe, it wouldn't be fun and it wouldn't be a fantasy fulfilled. At best it would be a disappointment, at worst..well...

So, if your fantasies involve gang bangs and glory holes, you can carry them out

. They can be very, very fun. Just be safe, be clear on your definitions... Now, for my own unfulfilled fantasies...anyone got a tentacled monster they can let me borrow for the weekend?